Can someone read my paper and revise it and edit it?





I think its missing something,
and I can't figure it out (the main topics of each main body paragraph is set so I cant change those)

Clothing is very important to almost any society or culture. It is important to ourselves, and to others around us. It helps people establish and keep their dignities. Men are not solely responsible for upholding the dignity of women. Each individual is responsible for upholding their own dignity. If we did not have clothing, the world would be a much less respectful place.

What we wear can show a lot about us. Clothing can help you express yourself, and give you an image. Clothing can also give people an impression of you that could be good, or bad. Clothing can keep you warm on cold days, and cool on hot days. Clothing keeps you from showing off personal parts of your body, and spares others from seeing them. The human race does not even realize how significant clothing is in our daily lives. Our dress definitely makes a difference!

Dignity is ones self respect, the honor someone holds themselves in. A way that people demonstrate their dignity is through their clothing. For example, if you wear a button down shirt to school, then you are obviously holding yourself in higher dignity than a person that wears a tank top and sandals. Also, dignity is expressed when you cover private parts of the body that others don’t want to see. This is done through clothing. As you can see, clothing is very helpful in preserving ones self pride.

Men are not responsible for upholding the dignity of women. Women should be treated as equals. They can clothe themselves in order to express themselves and give themselves a feeling of self-respect! In the story “Draupadi’s Unveiling,” Draupadi’s husband gave her away as a prize to be won, and the men that won her tried to take away her dignity by unveiling her. The only thing that preserved her dignity was her never ending sari that the god Krishna gave her for her good deed. So, in the end, it was her, not man who overall preserved her dignity.

Clothing makes a great impact on our day to day lives. Your attire can leave an impression on people about who you are. Dignity can often be communicated through your wardrobe. Finally, a women’s dignity is not supported by men, but by herself, through her own decisions. As you can see, there is a lot more to clothing than meets the eye.

One Response to “Can someone read my paper and revise it and edit it?”

  1. jilllpilll said:

    keep their dignity.
    the world would be less respectful
    You are going back and forth from "we" to "you" pick one and stick with it.
    You are elaborating on private parts too much

    The rest is good, especially your last paragraph

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